Build Self Confidence
Through Baking

“It starts with a batch of cookies”

As you may know I battle depression. Depression robbed me of self confidence. The lack of self confidence made the depression worse. The depression eroded my self confidence. About a year after starting therapy I knew it was time to try and find something to help me build my self confidence.

Growing up I remember enjoying baking cakes and cookies with my parents. Armed with a new found lust for creativity I figured I knew enough of the basics that I could at least try it out and see how it went. Now, three and a half years later, I think I know the basics enough to help someone else get started.

Getting Started

We know that confidence comes from successes, so what can we do to increase our chances of success in the kitchen? First we have to accept that failures happen and we will need to be prepared for them. They often feel terrible. Once we have accepted that we can move on to the things that can help us. One of the best things you can do is read the recipe start to finish before you even start. This will save you so many headaches by ensuring that you understand all of the steps required, that you have all of the ingredients, the right type of each ingredient, and that you are aware of the order in which to do things.

Recipe For Personal Growth

  • 1 Cup Vulnerability

  • 1 Cup Boundaries

  • Honest Conversation

  • Some Relearning

  • A Dash of Setbacks

  • A Batch of Cookies

The House Top

A Path

Figuring out where to start can be daunting. How do you know what is too complicated? How can you start with a few wins to build that confidence to move on to other things. This brief starting path should help set up some early successes.

1. A batch of chocolate chip cookies

Is there really anything better than a chocolate chip cookie fresh from the oven? Chocolate chip cookies tend to bring back positive childhood memories for most. Being able to make a batch can bring someone back to life. Sharing the experience with your friends, or your children, can help build healing relationships. Chocolate chip cookie recipes tend to be very straight forward.

2. Shortbread

Short bread is as easy as 1, 2,3. The classic recipe only has 3 ingredients. The best part, they’re in a ratio of 1:2:3.

3. The Intro Bundt Cake

Cake scares me still, no lie. This recipe my mom taught me makes your first cake simple, moist, and an instant classic. It relies on a box mix. Hopefully that removes some of the fear.

4. A Pasta Bake

What better way to get into entrees than throwing everything into a pan and putting it in the oven. At the end, a delicious pasta dinner.

5. The Intermediate Bundt Cake

It’s time to step out of our comfort zone again. This time we’re making cake from scratch.

Now that you know a potential starting path you can find tips and tricks below to help you achieve success.

Tips and Tricks

Flour

One of the best things you can do to increase the taste and texture of your bakes deals with the flour. In the US flour is measured by volume, using cups. Everywhere else flour is measured by weight. Measuring by weight ensures consistency each time you bake.

Problem: How should you measure flour when using cups?
Solution: First take a spoon and stir the flour in its storage container. Then take that same spoon and scoop out the flour into the measuring cup. Do not pack it in. Level off the top. I like to use the handle of the spoon for this.
Outcome: This will lead to lighter and more delicate bakes.
Why: Flour, over time, will settle in the container. This reduces the space between the flour particles. That means, when not measuring by weight, you will get more flour in the cup. Stirring the flour in the container, and then scooping that will aerate the flour. You will get less flour in the cup than if you were to scoop using the measuring cup. Think of it like your mental health. If you don’t take the time to break things up things get heavy and can bog you down.

Talking

Problem: We don’t talk. We don’t share how we are feeling. It’s scary to be vulnerable so we hide who we are. We retreat into ourselves.
Solution: Talk. Find someone that you trust and talk to them. Do it while you’re baking. Your hands will keep busy. It gives you some distance between the two of you. Let it out. If that doesn’t work for you, when getting started, journal. Write it all down. Burn it if you feel so inclined.
Outcome: You will find that you are more in touch with your emotions. A more authentic version of you will emerge.
Why: You will be honest with yourself. You will acknowledge what you are feeling when you are feeling it. People will accept you for who you are. If they don’t find new people. This will help you build real last connections with people. People who can and will help you. People who want to grow with you. People that you can love that will love you back. You may help them heal as much as they help you heal.