The Dark Arts Of

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Coffee Lover’s Blondies - AKA Dirty Blondies

As I’ve started to grow in food photography I’ve reshot a small number of the recipes. Usually they’re my favorite ones. This is one of those.

By now you should know I love coffee. I like to drink it. I like to brew it. I like to bake with it. The way it smells and the way it tastes. The other thing you should know by now is that I like chocolate too. Take those two and combine them and you’ve got a happy baker. These blondies have 2 shots of espresso as well as ground espresso. Top that off with 2 bars of milk chocolate for a bit of sweetness.

The first batch of these I made for The Witch’s uncle’s birthday. I was lucky enough to get to eat half of one. That was not enough. As Samhain (Halloween, also the start of “the darker half” of the year) neared we were invited to a small party hosted by @dead_ayeress. I knew these would be a hit so I whipped them up again. I had planned on doing a caramel latte version of these, but had never made caramel from scratch before. I had a good idea to try making brown butter brown sugar caramel as my first try. Real smart. Take butter, almost burn it, and then try turning that into caramel as your first try. Yeah instead I made the house smell like a burned mess. No dice there so I tried a normal batch of caramel with butter, water, sugar, salt, vanilla, and cream. It turned out amazing. The plan for that was to split the batter in two and bake some of it. I didn’t think I had enough when I tried so I bailed on that and made the batch you see below. I’ll still provide some instructions for it and try again anyway.

So Samhain, this year is the first Blue Full moon since 1944 on Samhain. The house you see providing the atmosphere on the dark arts of baking is very close to where we were. The Witch and I snuck away to take some pictures. So we’re there and I turned around and she’s down on one knee trying not to cry. She couldn’t get the words out but she asked me to be her forever husband. I said yes.

So it’s been a hell of a 2020. I continued and worked through therapy, the world shutdown due to covid, I quit my toxic job, I’m growing into the leadership role I’ve wanted, and now we’re engaged. I can’t say much more than wow.

The only thing that really takes away the never ending anxiety while waiting for the presidential election results in the smell after you open the storage container holding these. It’s sweet bliss. The coffee and brown butter flood your nose and bring tears of joy.

Ingredients

Blondies:

  • 1 Cup Unsalted Butter (2 sticks)

  • 2 Cups Dark Brown Sugar (packed)

  • 2 large eggs

  • 1 Tablespoon of vanilla (yes Tablespoon)

  • 2 shots of espresso

  • 2 Tablespoons of ground espresso

  • 2 Cups All Purpose Flour

  • 1 teaspoon of salt

  • 1 teaspoon of baking powder

  • 2 3.2oz bars of milk chocolate

Instructions

  1. Preheat the oven to 350 Degrees

  2. Line a 9x13 inch baking pan with parchment letting a few inches hang over the sides (spray with cooking spray before you add the batter)

  3. Brown the butter

    1. Place 1 cup of butter in a sauce pan over medium heat

    2. Melt the butter

    3. Swirl the melted butter while in the pan and occasionally scrape down the sides with a spatula

    4. The butter will start to bubble, continue cooking for another few minutes

    5. Once it starts to brown keep an eye on it. It will burn quickly

    6. Once there’s a toasted nutty smell remove from the heat and pour into a liquid measure cup to cool for a few minutes

  4. Place the brown sugar In the bowl of your stand mixer with the paddle attachment on

  5. Turn on the mixer to medium low and slowly pour in the browned butter

  6. Mix in the eggs one at a time

  7. Mix in the vanilla, and brewed espresso shots

  8. In a separate bowl combine the flour, salt, ground espresso, and baking powder

  9. Slow mix in the dried ingredients to the wet, scraping down the sides of the bowl as needed

  10. Rough chop the milk chocolate

  11. Fold in the chopped milk chocolate

  12. Pour the batter into the parchment line baking pan. Make sure you spray the parchment with cooking spray right before this

  13. Smooth the top of the batter

  14. Bake for 35 - 40 minutes or until I toothpick comes out clean

  15. Let rest in pan for 10 minutes

  16. Using the parchment as handles lift out the blondies and let cool on a wire rack

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