2019 is gone finally. It took a lot from me. It’s given a lot to me. Everything has changed. I’ve had things I wanted to say but as I sit down to write this it’s all escaping me. So let’s shift gears.

2019 was the year where I really finally admitted I needed some help. That’s a hard thing to do. Even after that and reaching back out to a therapist it still took me 3 months to schedule an appointment. That’s all on me. I kept making excuses. I was scared and nervous of the stigma surrounding it. I really knew I needed it. Unending grief was and is still part of my life currently. There’s a personal reason for this that I’m not willing to share yet. You think things are ok and then you’re reminded again that they’re not and the whole process starts all over again. The therapy has been great though. I know it’s a huge thing for people to want to do or admit to doing, but I think anyone that things they can benefit should do it. There are people that should do it and won’t. I’ve learned so much about why I feel the way I do. What I can do about it. I come out of each session and I feel great. Sometimes life kicks me back down but at least I know I’m trying finally.

I started this blog to really help myself. Part of what I wanted to do was create my own chocolate chip cookie recipe. I’ve never created a recipe before. I don’t really claim to understand the chemistry or anything that makes baking really work. That’s part 2 of why I wanted to start this. I want to learn how that works. Take the dark arts and remove some of the magic.

Fast forward to the end of December and I’m the plus one on an invite to the soft opening of a new restaurant in DC. This is the sister restaurant to one that my girlfriend and I’s favorite DC restaurant. She knows the owners and they’re great people. We’re sitting there enjoying a great meal and she says that we should get them some beer. Then she changes her mind and says that I should bake them something. You want me to bake them something? You want me to bake for the chef of a one Michelin star restaurant. I agree. The product of this will be my sped up first ever recipe. Keep an eye out for the Dark Arts Chocolate Chip cookie recipe.

Here’s to 2020 being a better year. I have a feeling that there will be plenty of gut punches to come.